Wednesday, September 21, 2016

In the Words of Zorg

I don't know if many of you have seen The Fifth Element.  It's an awesome movie with Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.  Oldman plays Zorg.  Jean Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg.  I'm a huge fan of the movie and every now and then one of the lines is incredibly appropriate.  For instance, in the words of Mr. Zorg, villain extraordinaire:

"I am Very Disappointed!'

Remember my lovely granite?  The granite that I ordered for my kitchen.  Okay, not granite but paper that looks like granite?

Yeah... so when I received it, it was quite definitely not 1/12 scale as the listing suggested.  I was distinctly unthrilled.

So I set the paper aside and was grateful I hadn't spent a lot of money on it, and started looking for alternatives.  And today I went to Home Depot and took a look at their tile, the adhesive kind that you just press on. 

I think I've found my kitchen counters though I've got a couple contenders.  The marble is nice but a bit stark and I want some warmth to the kitchen.

This is more of a stone look, but they didn't have anything that looked like my granite except actual granite or quartz and I wasn't willing to pay for that.  It has some movement to it and it's still light looking.

The two above are full sized tiles. I couldn't find sample pieces of them.  The next ones are some sample pieces.  I like how warm the first one is... though I'm not sure about the texture.

The pattern isn't as obvious in this one, but it's the lightest one besides the marble.  I might have to go to Lowes tomorrow and see if I can find some other samples.

So...disappointed but I'm working on it.

Any thoughts?  I'd love some opinions or additional sources.  I'm just not willing to buy a box of tile so I can use one.  I have to draw the line somewhere right?

Thanks for listening!


  1. Hi Sheila
    I know just how you must have felt. It can be a Big disappointment when what you have been waiting patiently to receive in the mail, fails to live up to your expectations.
    But what about photocopying the granite paper that you said was too big and simply reduce it? I would try it on photo quality paper so that there is a bit of shine. It might work better than laying out the cash for a box of tiles.


  2. How about printing out your own granite paper? I did this for CannaBliss using a marbled pattern, then applied it and covered it in matte Mod Podge but you could use gloss, too...

  3. Well I bought the two big tiles I showed for 89 cents each and the samples were free. I played around with the idea of photocopying the paper I have or printing something out, the problem is access to a color copier and a good printer.

    But we'll see.

  4. Any decent copy store would be happy to help...for a small fee, of course, but cheaper than tile.

    I used stick on tile for flooring once, it worked great, but I'm worried that the edge is going to be gray and will spoil the look of countertops.

    How about faux painting your own granite? I believe Brae has a post about it, she's done it.

  5. I'm going to check in at the local office store tomorrow I think and see what they'd charge to shrink down the paper I have.

    I'm iffy about trying to faux paint my own...mostly because I'm not terribly artistic the way Brae is. And if I come home with anymore paint I think my husband will call the men with the white coats.

  6. Don't shortchange yourself. That's worse than white coats ;)

  7. Well I've got one more thing ordered from Amazon that might work. Contact paper with a very fine granite pattern. They had an 'scale' picture and the pattern looks small enough that I think it'll work.

    Otherwise... yeah, it's time to get out the paint and start to play.

    And hope my building inspector doesn't put her paws in it as it dries...though that might get me an abstract design... Hmmm...

  8. You could always go butcher block, too. I did that for the barn counters. I used 1/8 x 1/8 strips and alternated light/darker stain using watered down acrylic paints. I glued and clamped them overnight, then sanded and varnished them the next day. If the papers don't work out it might be worth a try. Here's the post so you can see how I finished the edges and stuff:

  9. That's a good thought. I might go for that if I can't get the paper to work. I love that counter! Gorgeous.